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Longest Human Poop




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Question: “What is the world record for the longest human poop?”

Answer: After much research this question is still a mystery to us here at PoopingProblems.com . Unfortunately there are no well-respected, accredited record keeping institutions that keep record of largest bowel movements. Our investigation did prove useful in one facet however, debunking the current internet myth of the 26 foot poop.

26 Foot Poop Legend:

The hoax claims that the record for longest human poop was set in 1995 by a woman (that’s right, a woman) named Michelle Hines of Ann Arbor Michigan, USA. As the legend goes Ms. Hines, a University of Michigan student at the time was self admitted “Guiness Book of World Record – Obsessed” individual with a flare for the more, unsavory. In conjunction with the Dietetics department she developed a method to create the  largest and longest possible human poop. She would consume an extremely high fiber diet and use an anal plug to prevent “premature defecation”. After a week of this behavior resulting in what I can only image to be excruciating gastrointestinal pain, and the cultivation of a mammoth stool she was ready to evacuate her straining colon. The location of the birth of the poop monster would be Cranbrook-Kingswood High School bowling alley in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. The only place with long, hard floors needed for measuring and the privacy needed to awaken the beast. As the nutritionist set up the cameras Michelle quaked in anticipation. “It’s time!” barked the nutritionist and Michelle took her squat position at the measurement starting line. The butt plug was removed and a legend (fake legend) began to take shape. In accordance with the story the poop clocked in at a massive 26 feet or 7.92 meters which was claimed to be the the entire length of Ms. Hines colon. The documented “proof” is shown below:

World Record #4: Peristaltic Action, 1995, video stills

World Record #4: Peristaltic Action, 1995, video stills

 

The Real Story of the 26 Foot Poop:





In reality… None of what you’ve read above is true. In fact the actual story reads more like this: Back in 1995, Michelle Hines, who did in fact, grow up a “Guinness World Record-obsessed” Midwesterner actually attended and graduated with an MFA from the Cranbrook Academy of Art in Bloomfield Hills. The legend began when Ms. Hines created the now infamous “World Record #4: Peristaltic Action” video series, as an art project. In her piece she tells the story as follows, “In February, 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement measuring the exact length of my colon: 26 feet. I documented the extrusion at the Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, which offered a length of floor suitable for the process and measuring the results. The cathartic diet was supplemented by a high intake of Metamucil fiber substance. The week-long endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions.” Although this video and subsequent retelling of this story gained mass popularity as stated above it was not true.

Disclaimer: This story is not only false but a terrible, TERRIBLE idea to attempt. The amount of painful complications that could arise from such an experiment could be catastrophic.

…And because we are a pooping informational website we felt it our obligation to point out that the human colon is between 3 and 6 feet long. Much shorter than what is claimed in the fictitious story above.

Updated: August 21, 2015 — 12:31 am
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